Giraffe
by PteraWaters
Summary: The boys have a discussion and Puckurt smuff ensues. Set ambiguously in Season 2.


_Because with all the Klaine and Kurtofsky stuff out there, I thought we could all use a little more Puckurt._

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_**Giraffe**

"Kurt's definitely a peacock," Artie insisted as everyone laughed. The boys were hanging out, working on their number for glee, but really just munching and talking now. "And Finn's like, a bull or something."

Kurt snorted, "While it's true I'm usually exceptionally flashy, I resent the implication that I'm a stupid bird."

"Well, _I'm_," Puck boasted, "like, a jungle cat or a lion. Something badass."

"You know what?" Kurt asked, jutting out one hip and setting his hand on it.

"What, Hummel?" Puck replied, rolling his eyes at the other boys in the room.

"I think, with the Mohawk back in full force, you look more like a giraffe."

"What?" Puck cried with a laugh. "If anyone's a giraffe, it's Frankenteen over there."

"No," Artie argued. "I see it, too. Like if you had those knobbly horn things?"

"Oh, dude, you're right!" Finn laughed.

"Guys, guys," Mike got their attention, "What's Sam? 'Cause I'm thinking chimp!"

"Ha, ha! Yeah!" Puck laughed, watching as Kurt slipped out of the room. A few seconds later, he patted his pockets and muttered, "Crap! I left my phone in my locker. I'll be right back, you guys."

Finn waved him off, asking the others, "What about Mike? Like a gazelle or something? Ooh, or a panda!"

"Hey!"

Outside the choir room, Puck found Kurt leaning against the wall, texting or something. Leaning next to him, Puck asked, "A giraffe? Really?"

"Mm-hmm," Kurt replied happily, finishing his message before he looked up. "You're tall."

"Not much taller than you, anymore," Puck countered, sliding a little closer.

"You've got the Mohawk," Kurt continued, smiling as he reached up to run his hand back through the hair, a move that made Puck shiver a little. "You've got those long eyelashes," Kurt added, kissing Puck's cheek just below the eye. "And these pouty lips." The boy set a light kiss on Puck's mouth and that was that.

Puck pulled Kurt closer against him so Kurt was straddling his legs, his hands against the wall behind Puck just barely keeping their bodies separated. "You know I'm no fucking giraffe."

"Did I ever tell you about the time I got to feed one?" Kurt asked, cool and collected as if he wasn't mere inches from the hottest boy in school.

"Really?" Puck asked, lips finding their way toward Kurt's jaw and neck.

"Mm-hmm," Kurt breathed, lowering himself so he was touching Puck from thigh to chest. "At the zoo. It was big, dumb, warm, and pushy. Just," he punctuated his pause with a light kiss to Puck's lips. "Like." "You."

"Mmm," Puck smiled, holding Kurt tightly and kissing him soundly. "Wanna go have sex in the janitor's closet?"

Laughing, Kurt rotated his hips a little and said, "I thought you'd never ask."

When Kurt pushed away from the wall, leaving Puck cold until the shorter boy grabbed his hand and pulled him along, Puck pointed out, "Dude, I ask you for sex, like two or three times a day."

"And how many times a day do I agree?" Kurt argued, opening the locked janitor's closet with a quick jiggle and a flick of his wrist.

"Two or three times a day," Puck laughed, making sure the coast was clear before shutting the door and locking it.

"Besides, it's my turn," Kurt said, running one hand down Puck's chest as he loosened his own tie.

"Crap," Puck groaned, taking over the tie-loosening so Kurt could use two hands on his belt. "Really? Since when?"

"Since," Kurt breathed, stealing one kiss and then several more as he dropped Puck's pants around his ankles, "last night. In my car. Or do you not remember whining like a needy little man-whore?"

"Hey!" Puck growled, pulling on Kurt's tie so the boy had to look up at him. "There's nothing _little_ about the Puckasaurus."

Without even flinching, Kurt's hands found Puck's cock and squeezed playfully. "Tell me about it."

Sharp pleasure danced through Puck's entire body, making him gasp in a less-than-badass fashion. Why, oh why couldn't it be his turn again? Damn Kurt and his stupid ideas about equality in a relationship or whatever. But then Kurt turned around and dropped his pants, brushing the whole back of his body wantonly up and down Puck's front and the taller boy went into autopilot.

Puck's hands pushed Kurt down and forward, against the shelves in front of them and his legs bent, drawing his cock slowly over Kurt's exposed flesh. Thumbs massaged the padded skin and snuck toward Kurt's entrance. Mouth went dry. Cock leapt to attention. Throat groaned.

"Baby," he whispered, "I have a love/hate relationship with it being your turn."

"Just do it, Noah," Kurt insisted.

"What about lube?"

"Damn it, I don't know," Kurt cried. "Improvise?"

Despite his dry mouth, Puck worked up a good amount of spit and let it fall into his hand, knowing that the sound of hocking a lugie was anything but sexy. "You sure you want me to do this without a condom?"

"Ugh!" Kurt cried, crouching down near the ground and digging around in his pants until he came up with a foil wrapped rubber. "Here," he said, ripping the thing open and practically jamming it onto his boyfriend's dick. As he turned back around, Kurt cried, "Please, Noah. Now!"

Shrugging, Puck did as he was told. Using the spit in his hand for extra lubrication, he pushed into Kurt slowly, but steadily. "Fffffuck, yeah," Kurt breathed, and Puck would be lying if he claimed he didn't moan and obscene word or two of his own.

Like he said, love/hate relationship with it being Kurt's turn. On the one hand, hot damn, his boy was tight and so much fun to fuck with the way his whole body shivered and the way he held himself up on the shelves in front of him, like it was the most dramatically difficult thing in the world. The problem was, Puck hated this because it meant he was doing most of the work and wasn't reaping the benefits he could be if things were the other way around. Just the thought of Kurt slipping into him and hitting just the right places was hot enough to make Puck blow his load early.

"Damn it!" Kurt hissed angrily. "I thought you were a _stud_, Puckerman!"

Rolling his eyes and fighting the post-orgasm sleepiness, Puck kept thrusting. Using every trick he could think of to get Kurt off, soon he had the boy seizing up and breathing like a racehorse as he came into one of the kleenexes the little neat-freak carried around for just such an occasion.

"There you go, babe," Puck soothed his boyfriend, pulling out carefully and rubbing Kurt's back soothingly as he stood up, spine cracking. "See? I'm such a stud, I can keep it hard even after I get off."

"That's not called being a stud, Noah," Kurt laughed. "That's called being under the age of twenty."

Puck scoffed and got dressed, asking his boyfriend, "Do you think they'll know we snuck off to do it?"

"They will since you declared yourself 'allergic to pants when I'm around' during rehearsal last week."

"What can I say?" Puck grinned. "Pants just get in the way, baby."

Kurt smoothed his hair back and rolled his eyes, but leaned forward to give Puck a warm, wet kiss. "Movie night tonight?"

"Fuck yeah!" Puck agreed as Kurt took his hand and led him back toward the choir room. "Tonight it's _my _turn!"

In response, Kurt just laughed and shook his head.

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_Please leave all thoughts, kind or otherwise, at the other side of the review button. Also, who wants me to write a one-shot about "Seven Minutes in Pizes Heaven"? (Puck/Lauren) Because, seriously? Funniest canon pairing ever!_


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